Thursday, December 17, 2009

Why Not Date?

I was with a few families I know a couple of weeks ago and, of course, all the girls were shut up in a room sharing secrets and talking about annoying teachers and guys they liked and all sorts of stuff like that (it's a girl thing).
Now, I may be a rare kind of person, but I'm just not really into dating relationships right now. Sure, I think some guys are cute and all, but I never think now, my mind is always on later.
There was a girl there who was in 4th grade and she'd already had three boyfriends. Now, I know some girls develop romantic feelings earlier than others, and I'm just a late bloomer, and blah, blah, blah... But why? That's my question? Why do you date when you don't get anything out of it?
I've heard people say that it's fun. They say they're in love. Well, that may be, but every time you date someone, you give a little bit of your heart to them. Girls, you may try to deny it, but we just can't help it. We are emotional beings, and we get emotionally attached whether we realize it or not. I have a friend whose dated about five guys this year, and it's the same every time. She's in love, they go out for a few weeks, then he breaks up with her and it breaks her heart. As much fun as it sounds, or however in love you may be, it's just not worth all the heartache.

Statistics show that only 2% of people today marry who they dated in high school.
Less than 1% marry who they dated in middle school.
Elementary school doesn't even have a statistic.

After I throw all that statistical information at people, they're comeback is usually, "Well, why not date?"
1) I can hang out with guys without worrying about whether or not they're a prospective boyfriend.
2) I don't have to deal with all the drama that comes with being in a relationship.
3) I never have to be depressed about a breakup.

My philosophy is that you shouldn't date until you're ready to marry. I mean, isn't that the point of dating anyway? To find out if you'd be good in a marriage relationship together?

And (a personal dream of mine), to take it to the extreme, I would really rather not date until I am married. People today think that's impossible, but I say that anything is possible with God. And I don't see Him being too upset about me saving every single little piece of my heart for my husband. I want my first kiss to be on my wedding day. My heart already swells when I think that I will be able to tell my husband, I saved my first kiss for him. Can you imagine how special that would be? You shouldn't think in terms of 'how much can I get away with?'. You should think 'how little can I do?'.

I mean, on your wedding day, you wouldn't want to tell your husband, "I was in love with 3, or 15, or however many guys before I met you." No. Personally, I want to wait. I want to get away with doing the least. I don't even want to hold hands! And, let me tell you, just thinking about that wedding day, where I can say to my husband, "I never dated anyone before you. I never held hands with anyone before you. My first kiss is today, on my wedding day," makes me swell with joy. So just consider waiting. It's worth it.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Tori,
    I'm Ellie. I blog at
    I'm in high school. I really like this post. I think it's important. I've never dated anyone, or been kissed. I'm 16. It's not so much that I'm against it, or waiting for a certain point; I just don't feel the pressure like some people do. I commend you!