Let's just cut to the chase.
I get mad at God. Really mad. Like yelling at him during my prayer time (where I'm supposed to be thanking him.
I've been especially mad lately about how long raising money for Evan's adoption has been. I don't get an immediate response to any ideas I have. I just feel like the entire fundraising process is taking entirely too long. And, what frustrates me, is that no one seems to have the sense of urgency I do. The way I see it, we don't get enough money, Evan doesn't come home. And I will NOT let that happen.
Many of you know how Lydia Hollis and her family raised over the amount they needed for their adoption in 9 days (For more info visit: http://the30dayjourneyforhope.blogspot.com/). I kept praying to God saying, "Why can't you just do that for us? We'd put in the effort! I'd put in the effort to get that done!"
I was watching the movie Prince Caspian the other day and this scene just really stuck out to me. It worked completely with what I was asking from God. There is a scene where Lucy finds Aslan (I think in a dream, but it wasn't exactly clear).
She asks him, "Why couldn't you come roaring in and save us like last time?"
And he replies, "Things never happen the same way twice, dear one."
That's what's happening here. For me, it takes more of my faith to be patient and wait for God. I feel like when I get an idea, or when I get a cause, I just start sprinting off, and God grabs me by the shoulders and says, "Slow down, there, Speed Racer." That's what's hard for me. Having to slow down, because its what God wants me to do.
Also, we have our in-home homestudy visit tomorrow, so be praying that that goes well. We've basically cleaned the entire house (closets and all) for this. So hopefully it will all pay off.