To the Kind and Honorable Judge

To the Kind and Honorable Judge of an Unnamed Region:

In your land there lives a people,
An aching, tyrannized people.
Their mouths are open in a cry,
That the world is deaf to.

In those people lives a girl.
A lonely, little girl
Who waits with open arms
For what will never come.

In that girl there lives a heart,
A sad, perplexed heart,
That waits for what
It's never known.

In that heart there lives a love,
A love the bearer can't detect.
It's hidden away, buried deep,
Under confusion and misery.

In that love there lives a sister,
A melancholy, hopeful sister,
Who above all else wants one thing,
One thing she can't yet have.

In that sister lives a love,
A love for what she's never known,
But understands she's bound to love,
Whether she knows or not.

In that love, there lives a heart,
A heart that beats with fury,
A righteous indignation
That none can take away.

In that heart there lives a girl,
A stranded little girl,
With the smallest sliver of hope
The world tries to cover up.

In that little girl there lives a people,
A people only she can fully know
Whose suffering is yet to be discovered,
And never yet may cease.

In that people there lives your land,
Your land that hates with a fiery passion,
When you are the oppressors, and they are the oppressed.
They have no fire for you, and no water to quell your flames.

Best wishes to you. May God bless you.

Sincerely,

One Who Will Never Understand

Words of Wisdom

Let's just cut to the chase.

I get mad at God. Really mad. Like yelling at him during my prayer time (where I'm supposed to be thanking him.

I've been especially mad lately about how long raising money for Evan's adoption has been. I don't get an immediate response to any ideas I have. I just feel like the entire fundraising process is taking entirely too long. And, what frustrates me, is that no one seems to have the sense of urgency I do. The way I see it, we don't get enough money, Evan doesn't come home. And I will NOT let that happen.

Many of you know how Lydia Hollis and her family raised over the amount they needed for their adoption in 9 days (For more info visit: http://the30dayjourneyforhope.blogspot.com/). I kept praying to God saying, "Why can't you just do that for us? We'd put in the effort! I'd put in the effort to get that done!"

I was watching the movie Prince Caspian the other day and this scene just really stuck out to me. It worked completely with what I was asking from God. There is a scene where Lucy finds Aslan (I think in a dream, but it wasn't exactly clear).

She asks him, "Why couldn't you come roaring in and save us like last time?"
And he replies, "Things never happen the same way twice, dear one."

That's what's happening here. For me, it takes more of my faith to be patient and wait for God. I feel like when I get an idea, or when I get a cause, I just start sprinting off, and God grabs me by the shoulders and says, "Slow down, there, Speed Racer." That's what's hard for me. Having to slow down, because its what God wants me to do.

Also, we have our in-home homestudy visit tomorrow, so be praying that that goes well. We've basically cleaned the entire house (closets and all) for this. So hopefully it will all pay off.

Rocks Into Diamonds

The past few months have been very busy for me (hence the no posting). I've started a new school, spent some time in the hospital with Levi, and prayed about adopting a little girl.

As you can see, it's been pretty hectic. And God has been teaching me SO MUCH through all of it.

The next few days/weeks/how ever long it takes me to post this stuff, I will be talking about the many things God has been teaching me.

Today, I'm going to talk about God turning rocks into diamonds. Yes, very metaphorical, I know.

In the past month or two, Levi has been in the hospital for two surgeries. Following that, both he and Mom got sick. We had just recovered from that when now Mom has the flu. What a sicky house we are!

When I get stressed out and tired, I snap at people. That's what I do. That's how I show that I am NOT well in any way. Is it the best way? No. So I'm going to have to learn to control that at some point.

Yesterday, I was being particularly snappy because we weren't able to go out to eat with our friends because Mom was sick. When my dad asked me what was wrong, I said, "I'm tired of people being sick." And he replied, "Well, you're going to have to deal with sick people every day of your life with what you want to do." And as much as I hate to admit it, he was right.

For those who don't know, I want to be a missionary to Africa when I graduate high school. I don't know how long I will stay there, as long as God wants me to. I used to want to be a famous film score composer, but now I don't know if that's where God is calling me. Yes, I enjoy writing music. But what I LOVE, is helping people. Is taking care of little kids. Is hugging a baby close to me when it's crying and telling him it's all gonna be okay. That's what I LOVE doing.

In Africa, I would have to deal with AIDS, malaria, worms, all sorts of stuff. I would have to deal with death.

In that moment, I realized that God was preparing me. He was preparing me to be able to deal with all that sickness, and still be able to hold to my faith. God is slowly, but surely, molding me into a diamond that will shine for Him. He makes us who we are through the things that are difficult for us.

Last year, I would not have been able to deal with sickness and surgeries in the same month.

Two years ago, I would not have been able to handle Levi's three weeks at the hospital following open-heart surgery.

God is preparing me. He's preparing you too. You just have to learn to see it.

Dealing With Angry People: A How-To Guide

Have you ever been yelled at? Have you ever had a friend get so mad at you that they just ignore you? Well, people, this is a commonly felt emotion called anger. Oftentimes, it occurs because the person feels as if they've been betrayed, let down, or simply wronged. So how do we deal with those who are angry? I collected ideas from a few unnamed individuals and here are some examples:
1. Yell at them to snap out of it.
2. Ignore them until they decide to be calm and happy again.
3. Hit them with a textbook until they start crying so that way they're sad, not mad.
Which is the correct way to handle a situation with angry people? Drumroll...

NONE OF THEM!!!

Yelling at the person will only make them even MORE angry. Ignoring them will just lose you a friend, especially if they're already ignoring you. If you're both ignoring each other than you're not likely to ever speak again. And Example #3 I find to be a no-brainer. If I started hitting one of my friends with a textbook, they might be sad for a little while. But, in the end, they'll just be... You guessed it! Even more mad.
So what is the correct way of dealing with angry people? Here is a personal narrative for you on the RIGHT way (most of the time):
One day, I was with my friend Cara during 4th period, which is right before lunch. Cara had gotten really mad at me because she'd been complaining about the homework or the class or something and I'd told her to shut up and be thankful that she got to go to school. After that, she sort of sank into an angry silence. Cara went to save us seats at lunch, like she always did, although she did it silently that day (an amazing feat for her). As me and my other friends Sophie, Mary, Maddie, and Kathleen were washing our hands, Sophie commented, "I don't get why she's so mad. You just told her to be quiet. She's such a brat. What are we going to do about it? She'll probably just ignore us for forever!" As we were walking to the lunchroom, I had a brilliant idea. "Hey guys, let's just be really nice to her." There was some disagreement about my method, but they all gave in eventually. I just so happened to be in the lunch line next to her and I was just chatting away, asking her what she was doing, if she understood the science homework, etc. And suddenly, she said, "Tori, I just can't stay mad at you. You're being too nice." I wanted to jump in the air and scream "YES!", but I decided against it as we were in the lunch room. So we all became friends once more and had a happy rest of the day.

TA-DA!!! There's your magic solution. Nothing kills anger like kindness or servility. So next time someone's mad at you, instead of yelling back, try being nice. It works.
Really.