Monday, February 1, 2010

The Turnaround

I think I've finally made the Turnaround.

The past six months or so have created in me such a change that I can hardly call myself the same person that I was in eighth grade.

A year ago, my goal in life was to be famous. Be a famous oboist. Be a famous film score composer. Be famous for something. Be known. After high school, I wanted to go to college at Juilliard or University of Southern California and be a film score composition major. And after college, I was going to be skyrocketed into musical stardom. I wanted to be the next Hans Zimmer, James Newton Howard, or John Williams. And then, maybe, I would get married and have kids. But being a famous film score composer was more important.

Now, my goal is to help. I want to help the hurting in this world. The orphans, the widows, the fatherless. And I want my life to reflect a glimmer of light back to my King. I'm contemplating not even going to college after high school. If I did, I would go for composition/orchestration or classical performance, and how is that going to help me where I want to go? I want to go to Africa, to somewhere where I can love on children, feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, and give dying people the message of Jesus Christ. And, yes, I absolutely want to get married and have children, but serving my God comes first. And if it is not in His will for me to marry, then I will trust He has my best interest in mind.

I've made a 100% complete turnaround. I don't care about fame anymore. It's not important. God's people are hurting, crying, even dying. And I can't just stand by with my fame and fortune and do nothing. Fame and fortune will all be gone when I face God on judgment day, but what I can have to show Him is that I spent my life helping his children. I want Him to say to me, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

That is far more important to me than fame, fortune, or even marriage is. My God comes first now. Because I've made the Turnaround.

1 comment:

  1. I'm really proud of you, Tori! You've gotten ahold of what the gospel is really all about. When God chose the Jews, he called them to be a blessing to the nations; instead they took it that they were special--and no one else was. It became a badge of pride to them--and, of course, as you know, God judged them because of it! He sent Jesus, to show us what servanthood really looks like! You don't have to give up fame--Mother Teresa was famous--you just give it up as a goal--and let God do the rest!Blessings to you!

    Love, Pop Pop