Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Sick With Heartache

Have you ever seen or heard something that is so disgustingly wrong it literally makes you feel like you're going to puke?

I have. Last night, in fact. This isn't the first time this has happened. As previously stated, I have a very sensitive heart, and there's only so much wrong it can take without completely shattering into a million pieces.

I was listening to a sermon on abortion/birth control last night, and they brought up the story of a woman named Andrea Yates.

Andrea Yates personally drowned each of her five children, killing them. She killed her own children. Now, I'm not going to go into the details of this, because I don't want to make you horribly sick like I was. But, if you would like to read a more detailed account of the story, along with the following trials, you can read it here.

I felt my whole body go numb as the pastor related this unbelievable story. My stomach clenched, my eyes grew wide, and my hand clamped over my mouth.

As a person who loves children with a burning passion, nothing could be more horrific or grotesque to me, than a mother killing her own children. I, quite literally, felt like I was going to throw up.

Needless to say, I didn't get to sleep until around 1:00 last night. I used to, and sometimes still do, consider this a burden. I used to hate that I was so sensitive about things like this. But, then I realized, my heart is breaking for the things that break the heart of God. While many people could read the story, think it was horrible, and move on with their lives, I couldn't forget it. I consider it a blessing that God has made me so sensitive, that I can see through His eyes how broken and deranged our world really is. And with that understanding comes an unquenchable thirst to change it.

So, I thank God, for giving me something that so few people possess today - a sensitive spirit. A spirit that truly understands when something is wrong with the world.

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