Hoping Against Hope

I've hoped for a lot of ridiculous things in my lifetime. A lot of things that probably couldn't happen. Some of them did, and some of them didn't. But, none of them ever seemed as hopeless as this.

There are 21 days until Christmas. The likelihood that Evan will be home in 21 days is nearing nonexistence. The likelihood that my parents will, at least, be in Russia getting ready to bring her home on Christmas is slim, at best. So why do I still have hope?

I can't explain it. People have warned me time and time again not to get my hopes up. Don't get too excited about what may never happen. But, I can't seem to help it. I know God's in control, but I want her home so badly. Is it that such a crime? To what to spend Christmas with my family? All of my family?

Yes, it'd be fantastic for everyone to be home on Christmas. In fact, it'd be the best gift in the world. But, I'd take that gift a few days late. Would it be sad and lonely for me, celebrating Christmas with just me and Levi and my grandparents? Of course. But we would have an overwhelming joy knowing that our family would be home soon, bringing our sister with them.

So even though the chances are slim, even though it is almost impossible that we'll get a court date in the month of December, I am daring to hope against hope.

I truly, truly believe that God can give us a Christmas miracle. There is no doubt in my mind that Evan can be home by Christmas. Whether or not God sees this as the best course is entirely out of our hands. But, what isn't out of our hands is our ability to plead with God, to beg him for what we want. Because God wants us to be happy. He wants Evan to be happy. And Evan coming home would make me happier than a million mission trips, happier than five thousand iPods, happier, even, than having Christmas with my family.

I beg any who read this to please, please, lift up our little Eva Noel in prayer. We love her so much, and we just want her to be home. Pray for a Christmas miracle.

God's Perfect Timing

Meet Carmensita. Carmensita is a little girl I met while I was in Peru. She lives at an orphanage where the children are not adoptable because their parents never gave up custody of them.

Carmensita is around four or five years old, yet she still lives in the baby house. She eats in a high chair. This is because of her eyes. She has "a neurological problem in both of her eyes" as well as a "deformed left leg". She didn't get a lot of attention at the baby house, and she didn't seem to have any friends.

I thought she was one of the most beautiful little children I've ever met. She loved to sing, and she would try so hard to focus her crooked, little eyes on me. But she couldn't quite do it. She fell asleep snuggled up to my chest, even called me Mama. Carmensita touched my heart.

So I was determined to help her, in any way I could. I asked the pastor of the church we partnered with if it would be possible to send her to a doctor to have her eyes examined, to see exactly what was wrong with her.

I waited and waited and waited for a reply. I don't remember patience ever being that hard. But, finally, I got a reply.

The pastor said it was VERY possible for her to see a doctor for her eyes to be examined, and that it would cost around $75. I couldn't believe it! Finally, finally, there was something I could do to help her, my little Peruvian princess.

They also said that I could send her a Christmas present! Carmensita will have Christmas this year! They also said they could find César, the little boy with cerebral palsy, and Héctor, the little boy with Down syndrome so I could give them gifts too!

Just when I was on my last leg, just when I thought I couldn't hold out anymore, when I was missing Peru so much I'd sit on my front porch crying about it, God gave me a way to help my little Peruvians! His timing is so perfect! He gave me what I wanted only when I needed it.

Be praying for little Carmensita. If her eyes and/or her leg require surgery to be fixed, I will start researching medical visas for orphans. But, as much as I want to see her, I hope that's not the case.

God is so good!

Christmas Is Over... Time to Bring in the New Year!

Me and my family had a fabulous Christmas! Of course, Santa Claus came and we all got Christmas presents, had a lovely Christmas breakfast, all that good stuff! When I was younger, I would be extremely sad once all the presents were opened, because I'd have to wait another whole year until Christmas came again. But, now, I've learned to be happy and know that this Christmas is one more Christmas I was blessed enough to see!

We all enjoyed our gifts!

Me...

Jace...

Especially Levi!

But my favorite part of Christmas is our Christmas Eve traditions! We ALWAYS bake the 'Happy Birthday Jesus' cake! I decided to be symbolic this year and make red velvet cake (red like Christ's blood, spilled for us). And, before we go to bed, we always read the Christmas story out of Luke, and play a sing a few Christmas carols - piano by my lovely grandmother!

But more than the gifts and the songs, I have learned to be thankful for the life I have been given. On our way home from our grandparents' today, the people in front of us braked super quick for some odd reason. Trying to avoid collision, my dad swerved off the interstate. Luckily, there wasn't a rail or anything, just kind of a ditch. None of us were hurt, but it shook us up pretty bad. I also found out what true, Christ-like love is. My thoughts as we were careening down that rut were, yes, for my own safety, but primarily, "Not Levi, not Jace!" I hand my hand on the seat belt, ready to unbuckle and cover them if it looked like we were going to crash. I've had fifteen years of good, solid life. I want my brothers to have at least that much too. I thank God for sparing our lives, knowing he didn't have to. But, as we enter the new year, we have to realize that every second could be our last. So let's live like it. Tell your mom you love her, give your brother a hug when he comes home from school. Because, truthfully, we don't know for sure if we'll ever see them again.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find the baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go tho Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the world concerning what had been told them about the child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all of these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

- Luke 2:1-20

What a wonderful, beautiful, 100%-true story! I always wonder about Jesus as a baby. I mean, He was God, so obviously he already knew everything there was to know. But, could he remember everything, and he just couldn't express it because of the limitations of his human body? And, angels. What do angels really look like? We all think of them as fair, human-like beings with wings and long robes, but is that what they look like? Seems kind of racist to me. I'm guilty of this too. I never picture an angel as being of African, Asian, or Middle-Eastern appearance. It just never crossed my mind. But I bet that's wrong. I would give anything to have been there that night, to have heard the angels' song, to have seen Jesus, God, right before my very eyes. But, thankfully, we still have contact with him through the Holy Spirit and, one day, we will meet him face to face!

But, until then...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!!

What Is It Really All About?

What is Christmas really about?

Most of the modern-day world will tell you that it's about the spirit of giving, about being thankful and being cheerful, about kindness and goodwill. While all of that is true, it really all comes down to Jesus - just like every other aspect of our lives.

I tend to forget this quite a bit. I get caught up in the holiday spirit of Christmas music, winter coats, Santa Claus, and gift giving. All of that is just fine, but we have to make sure that Jesus is our priority this season. Without Jesus, there would be no Christmas.

Even the dictionary says that Christmas is "the annual Christian festival celebrating Christ's birth," so shouldn't we, as Christians, be the ones who set this example?

My family has 20+ nativities set up all over our house. The picture above is one of my favorites. It just seems so humble compared to all the other fancy, elaborate ones - just like Jesus.

And did you ever think about how incredibly faithful and brave Mary and Joseph had to be? Mary was only 13 or 14 when the angel came to her. I find it insanely awesome that she trusted God through her family not believing her, and her fiancé threatening to reject her. That is one amazing young woman. And Joseph, he led his wife, pregnant with a child that he knew to be the Son of God only by faith, across 100 miles of desert and rocky terrain. All I can say is, "Wow."

A movie I suggest watching is The Nativity Story. Probably not great for younger kids, it gives whole new depth to the old story that everyone's heard. You walk through the journey with Mary. One thing I love about it too, is that the people are portrayed as Middle Eastern (probably Pakistani or Israeli descent). That is the way they really looked. They were not Caucasian. I watched it earlier today and was just blown away by the amazing way that God works and his people showed faith to Him. It came out in 2006. It should be at your local Blockbuster. Please do take the time to watch it with your family, it will change your perspective on Christmas.

Because we all need a wake-up call. It's not about the "holiday spirit." It's about Jesus - it's always been about Jesus.

Living the Dream

The other day at school, we got an assignment that asked us 'What would your dream life be?' This took quite a bit of thought for me. Would it be having my name in the credits of big movies as the composer? Or starting a youth orchestra in Africa that becomes world famous? However, what I came up with was this:

It was Christmas Eve night, about 8:00. Jace had just been put to bed, and I was walking by his room. "Tori, if you don't go to sleep soon, Santa won't come!" he warned me. "I know, Jace," I replied, gently closing his door. I sat down in one of the recliners in front of the TV, the Christmas tree emitting warm reds, golds, and greens. I felt a tug at my leg and looked down. Evan kneeled right beneath me, her big, gray-blue eyes pleading with me. I gently hoisted her up onto my lap, holding her close. I heard an upset grunt and some whining. Levi sat on the other side of the room, looking very upset that I had picked up Evan and not him. I rolled my eyes and motioned for him to come over here. He grinned and crawled over, holding up his arms for me to get him. I lifted him onto my other knee, and he flashed me his crowd-pleaser smile. However, when he saw who was taking up the other side of my lap, he brought up his hand and smacked Evan right on the arm. "No, sir," I told him, grabbing his hand. "Be gentle." He smiled again and rubbed the palm of his hand smoothly across her face. "Thank you," I told him. Evan was already starting to nod off. I brushed a strand of her light blonde hair out of her sleepy eyes. A few minutes later Dad took Levi to put him to bed (which he protested very loudly). I gently pulled the sleeping Evan up to my shoulder and carried her into her crib. "Good night, Evan," I whispered, gently kissing her forehead. I laid her carefully down in her crib and covered her with a blanket. "I love you. Merry Christmas."

THAT is my dream life, right there. What's funny is that my dream life is already my life. The only thing missing is Evan. I even had Levi hitting someone in there. What I realized is that, I wouldn't change my life even if I could (with the exception of Evan being home faster, but even that will probably change with time). That's because my life has made me who I am. If all of my siblings hadn't been adopted, I probably wouldn't be so passionate about adoption. If my brother and sister didn't have Down syndrome, I probably wouldn't be offended at all when people use the word "retard." But I am. Because of who my life has made me. So the next time you would want to change your life, remember that if your life hadn't been what it is now, you wouldn't be the same person. You'd be completely different.

A Gift Just for You

So I don't know about you guys, but I am so excited about Christmas!

I'm the person who listens to Christmas music year round, and then gets all happy at Christmastime because it's finally not weird.

Christmas is such a wonderful time of year! Everyone's in a better mood, and there's a warm, cozy atmosphere in your home. Holiday lights get put up and trees get ornamented. Everybody is more compassionate at Christmas.

On Christmas Eve night, 2,000 years ago, God sent us a gift. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to save us from our sins. Everybody knows the Christmas story. What they don't know is that God sent us another gift, a separate gift - the gift of Talent.

Every one has this gift, but it comes in different forms. Some people's Talent is music, for others it's math, or communicating.

We all have Talents. And each one of them is a gift from God, a little piece of him meant to be used as a reflection. Our Talents should reflect who God is.

What's your Talent? And what are you using it for? Try using your Talents to glorify God, even if it's something that you think is unimportant. Like balancing a pencil on your nose. When everyone says, "Wow! That's pretty cool," you can tell them why you can do that. Tell them who gave you the ability to do that. Even the smallest things can be used for God.

Everyone has Talents. Are you glorifying the One who gave them to you?