Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ignoring What You Know Is Coming

Let me make it very clear that there isn't much that I dread more than puking. I would rather have a cough or cold for months than throw up once.

So you can imagine how scared I was when I woke up on Monday morning to find out my brother had barfed like crazy all through the night, was still sicky, and my mom had caught the bug too. Refusing to touch anything they had touched or go anywhere near them, I apprehensively made my way through the day, washing my hands as often as possible and carrying a bottle of hand sanitizer in each hand. I felt queasy all day, most likely because I was paranoid. But, later that night, I felt it coming on. You know how it feels. You know, you just know you're going to throw up. And you can't do a single thing about it.

The dread before throwing up is terrible for me. I mean, I know it must be horrible for everyone, but it's absolutely dreadful (no pun intended) for me. I get so scared that I can barely focus on anything.

None of the handwashing, sanitizing, or staying away from the sickies helped me one speck. I got that stomach bug and there was nothing I could do about it. What was crazy was that I went to all that trouble avoiding it, and got it anyway.

It makes me think about Jesus. If knowing I'm going to throw up causes that much fear in me, I can't even begin to imagine how much knowing He was going to die struck fear in Jesus.

He was fully human. He must have felt fear. He lived his entire life knowing that He was going to die. He must have tried to avoid it. He pleaded with God that there would be some other way to save the world.

I just can't imagine how he'd live. How he'd go every single day and live it like he would live it anyway when he knew he was going to die.

It had to be the hardest thing in the world, ignoring that. But, He did it. It makes me wonder. Should we try and avoid what we know is coming? Or should we accept it, and focus on the things of the present?

1 comment:

  1. So good Tori. I don't think I've ever thought about being sick in this way - but it's great perspective!

    thanks for sharing!