I leave for Peru in less than 48 hours.
Aren't you so excited?
About as excited as I am nervous - which is a lot.
My nerves didn't really kick in until I had to learn the Hoedown Throwdown (from the Hannah Montana movie). You think it's funny? You try learning it. It's not as easy as it looks. Especially for someone who dances only with her three-year-old brother.
As the time of our departure grew nearer and nearer, I got more and more nervous. I would've backed out, I'm sure, if it wasn't too late for that. I was already too committed.
On top of that, I'm teaching a "workshop" on Eve for teenage girls, which is a message/discussion.
While I always knew it was out of my comfort zone, I trusted that God could use me in great ways through something like that.
Now... I think quite differently. What in the world was I thinking when I signed up for this? I can't do this!
My brain has been on constant overload this week, my anxiety surfacing more than it normally does.
But, I'm learning a lot. Lesson #1: Do not wait to cut out kids' Sunday school crafts until the week before you leave. Your hand will feel like it's going to fall off and you're going to be left with a stub.
I don't have any sense of contentment at the moment, like I thought I would. All I can think is that I'm not ready for this. I made a mistake when I signed up, and the church leaders made a mistake when they chose me to go. This whole thing was just a big mistake.
But, there's no going back now. And isn't that how God works? Through people's mistakes? It's only through our weaknesses that we can see His strength.
That being said, never underestimate the power of prayer. If you would be willing, I'd like you to pray for the health of our team (spiritually, physically, and otherwise), that God would prepare our hearts, that He would take away all our fears, and that He would bless both us and the Peruvians over the next week and a half.
Porque tanto amó Dios al mundo, que dio a su Hijo unigénito, para que todo el que cree en él no se pierda, sino que tenga vida eterna.
- Juan 3:16