Running for God

I am not a runner. In fact, I am not an athletic person at all. I can run about twenty steps and then be completely winded. But, I need to run.

See, in the next year or two, there are a lot of mission trips I'd like to be able to go on, lots of precious kids I want to love. I want to go to Peru, Côte d'Ivoire, Kenya, and Uganda. That's approximately $16, 500 worth of mission trips. That's a lot of money. You can be sure that people will get tired of me asking for money for missions, so then what do I do?

How on earth do I get that much money?

My dad gave me a solution. He sure knows how to motivate his daughter. A 5K. I have to run a 5K. He says that if I can do it, he'll pay for one of my mission trips. A whole mission trip. That's a least $1, 500 off my plate.

At the beginning of this week, I could walk a mile in about 20 minutes. The past two days, I've cut that down to 18 minutes, alternating between jogging and walking. That's a big deal for me. I didn't think I could walk a mile, let alone jog parts of it.

I don't enjoy running, though. I don't enjoy it one speck. But, I see it as reaching a goal, as running toward something. Every mile I run is a mile closer to Peru or Africa.

God is showing me that the things I never thought I could do, He can do through me. I can share my testimony in front of a church full of people who don't speak my language. I can run a 5K.

We can run for God, just like we run for a mission, or for any cause. No, reading the Bible isn't always the funnest thing ever. No, we don't always want to go to church, but we do it because we have to keep running. Because if we stop, we may never start again.

Never-Ending Aftereffects

It's been exactly fifty days since I got back from Peru.

And, while the incurable restlessness isn't as bad as it was the first few weeks, it's still very present.

I work at preparing the Christmas Warrior Project 2010 with a burning passion as much as I can because it's the only time I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. Sometimes I try and work on it even when there's nothing else I can do. It's the only way I can get a little taste of what I experienced serving God in Peru here in America. It's only a fraction of it, but it's more than normal.

While I am so incredibly blessed that I got to go to Peru, and it gave me a clear purpose for my life, sometimes I wish I could forget what I felt there. I loved it; it was amazing while I was there. But, the memories become heart-wrenching here, because I can't experience them here.

I almost had a breakdown today while doing algebra homework. I thought, What am I doing? God, why in the world do you want me sitting in an empty bedroom doing algebra that I'll never need and listening to classical music when I could be serving your children? I could be saving the orphans! I could be doing so much more than I am now.


He hasn't answered yet. Maybe I'm not ready for whatever God has planned. Maybe someday, I'll need algebra (as unlikely as that seems).

The memories have faded for those that weren't on the trip. They forget. They don't understand. But, for those who were there, those who experienced, it's impossible to move on in the same way as before. Absolutely impossible.  And, sometimes, we don't know what to do about it.

Rampant Cussing at a Christian School

I go to a very good Christian school. The people at the school are almost all very godly, very kind people. Except that nearly every single one of them has a fault. They cuss. They use one curse word, time after time after time. And no one cares. It goes completely unpunished. Some of the teachers even use it.

Can you guess what it is? It's the 'R' word. I'm reluctant to even type it, it's become so disgusting to me. I'll even do it in parentheses, so it's like I'm whispering it (retard or retarded).

Only no one realizes that it's a bad word. No one understands that when someone goes... "Oh my gosh, you're so retarded," that they're using a word used to describe the entire population of special needs people in a negative way. We use it as a bad thing. As something negative. As something ridiculous.

This is WRONG. It's a bad word. People always say that they didn't mean it that way. I don't care how you meant it, you still used it.

If I called a black person the 'n' word, and then said, "Oh, but I didn't mean it in an offensive way," that they would just brush it off and not take it in an offensive way? Of course not! The word, in and of itself, is offensive.

It's the same with the 'r' word. You think that just because the degraded people can't understand that you're using what they are in a negative way, that you can just get away with it? No. That's weak, cowardly, and ungodly. That's picking on the weakest of the weak, and using their disadvantage to your advantage.

Now, maybe you understand a little bit why every day, when I go to school, and I hear someone use the 'r' word, my fights clench and I clamp my mouth shut, trying not to angrily outburst at the speaker. Because many of the speakers are my friends. I have nothing against them. They don't mean it, they don't understand what they're saying.

But, if you read this, now you do. You know exactly what the word you're using means. And I challenge you not to use it anymore. But, at least if you do, you'll know what you're saying. And maybe the Spirit will nudge your conscience now that you know.

(from dictionary.com)
retard
noun - offensive
a mentally handicapped person (often used as a general term of abuse)