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February 13, 2013 --
Day three of being a pseudo-mom. I'm running completely on leftovers and the iPad. I've gotten taco meat in my hair and had a band-aid put on my lip. Two timeouts. Approximately forty M&Ms given as bribes for good behavior. Running low on patience and kindness. Halfway through.
It sounds like I'm a soldier in captivity.
It feels like that sometimes too.
For the last three days I've gotten just a taste of what it's like to be a mom. Exhausting, infuriating, and only rewarding some of the time. Messy, mixed-up, maze-like.
And I only have two of the kids.
Mom and Levi are in Austin, TX at an Autism center. Levi is being evaluated all week, and afterward, they'll come up with a plan of action for combating some of his behavior problems (hitting, spitting, etc.).
Dad has a bunch of big projects due at the end of this week. He's working late every night.
The result? Tori is in charge for the week. Dinners. Taking and picking up from school. Diapers. Figuring out what to do with Evan all day. Although, thankfully my grandfather has been here to help. He leaves tomorrow, though. And I find out what it's really like being a mom.
My thoughts on all of this? How does she do it!? After spending a day simply taking care of Evan (Jace doesn't really count), I feel so exhausted that it's all I can do to keep my eyes open until 10:00.
Whoever decided that being a mom doesn't count as a "real" job has obviously never done it.
There have been moments in the last three days when I have wanted to leave Evan in the time-out chair for the rest of the day. There have been others when she's made me laugh so hard that tears ran down my cheeks.
But through it all, God has been teaching me what real love is. Real love is comforting Evan when she's crying over something ridiculous. Real love is dancing to Michael Jackson with the blinds open because it's what she wants to do. Real love is following through when I tell her that she will go straight to bed with no books if she doesn't listen. Real love is sitting on the floor playing doctor with her when I'd rather be checked out on my laptop.
Real love is loving people when you don't think they deserve it. Just like God loves us.